Advice – To Cute Or Not To Cute? That Is The Question.

26 Jun

Quick backstory: I met this girl in last year in New York. I asked her out and it went amazingly well; we had a great date, I kissed her after walking her back to her apartment, and for the next four months we had a fantastic relationship. It was all good times, no drama or stress. We’d amuse each other for hours just being goofy and laughing at dumb inside jokes, etc. And the sex was good and plentiful.

But… before I met her I’d already planned to move to a different city. So there was a time limit. Because of that, we never really “took it to the next level.” And now I’m here in Austin and she’s there in NY, and we’re rooted in these places for the next couple years. Not really easy driving distance. Womp womp, life is complicated, I know. But I really like her! I’m 99.9% sure that if it weren’t for the distance, we’d still be in a great relationship.

It’s been a few months since we’ve seen each other, but we still talk on the phone occasionally and Gchat several times a week. I’m going to NY to visit her this summer, and I want to tell her what’s on my mind, something along the lines of this (clearly this needs some refining): “I like you a whole lot, and I’ve been totally smitten with you since pretty much the first time we hung out, and even though it can’t work out now, I hope it can work out later.” Is this a good or bad idea?

The more I think about it the more it seems like a bad idea. I don’t want to play games with her or make her feel some sort of obligation to me, just to make sure she knows how I feel about her. Is there a way to do that without it being weird and seeming like I’m trying to call dibs on her or anything? I don’t really have any particular expectations of how this is going to turn out. I mean, I don’t expect her to drop everything and run away with me or put her own dating life on hold until I can move back to NY, and the last thing I want is for her to feel any pressure from me to do those things.

I dunno. Should I just let it go? Ugh… but I really really like her! What does A Lady think about this delicate situation?

A Dude

Okay, I need to write this fast because I’m dying to see what A Lady had to say in response to this question.

My advice:  Refine nothing!  Say exactly that!  If a dude I liked said that (or maybe even just printed this letter out and handed it to me to read while he looked on earnestly) I’d just about fall over dead from all the cute.  And if a guy I didn’t like did the same I’d give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, tell him that he did everything within his power to woo me and then take him out to a bar, be the best wingwoman in the world and get him L-A-I-D because he would deserve it.

Dudes, making a fool of yourself for us is the most attractive thing you can do.  Don’t refine, just adore.

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