Unpretty Is In The Eye Of The Closest Male Beholder

20 Dec

“Female fat [as] a moral issue is articulated with words like good and bad. If our culture’s fixation on female fatness or thinness was about sex, it would be private issue between a woman and her lover; if it were about health, between a woman and herself… A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but one about obedience.”

Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth


“I am six feet tall and proud of it. I carry myself proudly with my head held high. I have a ‘robust’ or ‘forceful’ personality, as many have said. I’ve had a few guys flat out tell me I’m intimidating. How can I be less intimidating, without being untrue to myself?”

~The Sexademic





Let me put it to you this way. Rape culture is a culture in which people who have survived a violent crime are asked to laugh about it because other people think it’s funny.


Who wants to be obedient?  I’d rather start a revolution and be a bad-ass. 

When I see these sorts of things.  See them every day.  All I can think about is how the world, the patriarchy, the rape culture, every man around me wants me to be smaller.  Be less.  Be something he can manage.  I’m greater than that.  And too great for him. 

4 Responses to “Unpretty Is In The Eye Of The Closest Male Beholder”

  1. Webmonarch December 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm #

    oh! This is in the same theme:


  2. elenamusic January 30, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    This rings very true.

    I just had a dream last night that I had a room mate strictly tell me that I was fat. Just seriously telling me that I was fat, big-boned. I crumbled and admitted I was and I needed help. I felt so weak and felt “found out” like, I couldn’t hide from it anymore, I was a hideous monster.

    I woke up and felt so weird. Looked in the mirror. I’m not “fat” per se, I’m in the normal BMI standards. Not obese at all. Sometimes I tell people I need to lose weight and they tell me I look just fine. And it just feels like a constant struggle to look skinnier.

    I feel like the media is doing an “inception” thing to women. Planting this thought that we all need to be more desirable to men. Be skinner, be sexier, be quieter. I did some studying in college about make-up and a lot of make-up ads encourage women to shut up in subconscious ways. Don’t talk, have the make-up talk for you.

    I just have planted in my head that I am a huge thing, and also people have told me I’m “intense”, but I have a lot of energy when I’m happy and I can talk loud and I have presence, and that can freak out men at times. But, I’m just being myself. Why can’t I just be myself? I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not offending anyone. And now that I think about it, it was a man telling me I was “intense”. I don’t want to be quiet and meek.

    Hah, your posts really get me going and thinking a lot. It’s great.

    • Female Gazing January 31, 2011 at 8:52 am #

      “Hah, your posts really get me going and thinking a lot. It’s great.”

      That’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever gotten. Thank you.


  1. An Urge to Learn Scandinavian History « FeelingElephants's Weblog - December 21, 2010

    […] why the picture? My friend is talking about unprettiness being in the eye of the male beholder, and I wanted to promote some strong, female […]

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