I’d Hammer In The Morning

4 Dec

The male gaze is the idea that the way straight white men see the world is the way everyone see’s the world.  The way men see the world is the way the world is.

Men think boobs are sexy, therefore I should think boobs are sexy.
Men shouldn’t find man hands sexy therefore I shouldn’t find man hands sexy.

When I see a man reach for something on the top shelf that I can’t reach, something happens to me. When I see a man flex his arm so all the veins in his hand pop something chemical happens in my brain.  I don’t want to disagree with Dan Savage’s claim that female sexuality is more fluid than male because I think that’s very possible.
However, I offer two things to question that with.

First of all the only women I’ve ever personally been attracted to were pretty intense tomboys.  Women who wear almost exclusively men’s clothes and who let me put my arm through theirs like a man would.
Secondly men gain something by their opinions and views being more pervasive than women’s.  Even if the opinion in question if just that women are hot.  This profit is difficult to quantify but is no less real.

The point of saying this isn’t to exert my straight-ness.  And I’m sure that for every woman like me there is a woman who identifies as bisexual and is probably offended that I’m calling her sexuality a product of patriarchy.  I don’t want to call her sexuality into question, I just want her and me to own it as much as any straight male is allowed to.

I want to use my sexuality as a hammer to smash patriarchy with.  I refuse to be swayed by the media and the male gaze.

I just want my sexuality to be my own.  I don’t want patriarchy to bully me into pretending to be interested in stuff other than what I’m into.  My sexual imagination has plenty on it’s mind, don’t worry.

Who I’m attracted to is my business and mine alone (until of course it begins to concern the object of my affections).  If you’re straight then be straight, If gay, gay.  Any flavor of queer, any flavor of queer.  Patriarchy doesn’t have the right to tell you what to be attracted to.

You have a sexuality, it’s yours.  Enjoy it.

If you’re a straight lady, next time you’re playing spin the bottle and you kiss another girl just spend a second thinking: am I really enjoying this?

Am I doing this because I like this girl?  Am I doing this because I enjoy turning this guy on?  Both are valid reasons, Just as long as you know what you’re doing.  Do I like kissing her but dislike all these guys around us breathing so heavily?  You have the right to do or not do anyone who you are or are not interested in (consent permitting).  Just take a moment to consider why and who you’re doing this for.  And make sure you’re on that list.

Enclosed is a picture of Patriarchy.

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