To Drive Or Not To Drive

4 Oct

So I have this friend, and he has this car.  It’s an adorable little red hatchback GTI, not that I have a clue what that means.  The point is that it goes fast.  Like really fast.  And it feels really good.  It does that thing from elevators and roller coasters where your stomach moves and flips.  He loves it.  And I love letting him drive me around in it.

I push the seat back so I have lots of leg room, I close my eyes, I put on the seat warmers and music.  I enjoy the feeling of being in a car that is being handled by someone who can tame this loud metal beast.  I feel completely safe.

I shed all my responsibilities.  No longer am I worried about my work duties.  My to-do list leaves my mind and I’m reduced to a puddle of giggles because my stomach is in my throat.  I’m a princess and I don’t need to do anything but sit back and wait to be deposited at my desired destination.  I know he’ll get us there safe.  Just completely hand over the reins to this guy.  Because…well, he’s a guy and he can drive this car…really well.

I have my own car.  I hate driving it because it’s scary.  My car doesn’t handle well.  It stalls randomly (yes I am a chick with a stick).  When I think about it climbing Pittsburgh hills I have a panic attack.  It’s always emotionally draining to drive my car.  Why would I choose the anguish of driving myself when the other option is so enjoyable?

Because I’m supposed to be self-sufficient.  To not need a man to go places.

Now, I believe in splitting responsibilities and checks and stuff.  I shovel the walkway.  I would even consider mowing the lawn or raking the leaves if necessary.  But I really like being driven around by men who I trust.  It’s a form of giving up control that feels really good.  Especially compared with driving by myself.

Maybe this makes me a bad feminist.  But if trusting my friends and my gut and doing what feels right makes me a bad feminist then I don’t want to be a good one.

For more on what my car does see all boxes below.

2 Responses to “To Drive Or Not To Drive”

  1. Izzy October 5, 2010 at 11:25 am #

    Is it men only? That is to say, you enjoy being driven by people you trust or specifically men you trust? If it is the latter, then I have to ask, how was it that you learned that giving up control to a man was “what feels right?” ? Why in this particular situation?

    Further, self-sufficiency as a notion is difficult to pin down/ a myth. So, the notion that one shouldn’t like being driven around because they are self-sufficient is lolworthy at best, don’t you think?

    I love riding in the passenger seat, especially when my girlfriend is driving. I enjoy giving up that control to her because I trust her especially much. I actually enjoy riding in the side seat assuming the driver doesn’t suck at driving.

    What I’m trying to say is that I think being able to give up control is good, but that giving up control isn’t necessarily good. I think being an individual is about having the power to let power go (Rousseau, bell hooks).


  1. The Luckiest Guy On The Lower East Side « Female Gazing - November 12, 2010

    […] a while ago I wrote about my friend’s car.  And I’ve continued to think on this, on what about it bothers […]

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