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The New Cosmo And Can I Be Joanna Coles When I Grow Up?

31 Oct

The other day NPR made me cry. Literal tears in my eyes crying. And worst, it was about Cosmo.

Joanna Coles, the new editor in chief of Cosmo was being interviewed and she is getting added to my list of women I want to be when I grow up.

The interview is fantastic. I suggest you listen to it right freaking now.

Highlights:

This headline: “I Feel Lucky That I Can Wear What I Want, Sleep With Who I Want And Dance How I Want And Still Be A Feminist.”

“I think that women’s lives are multilayered. I have no problem understanding that women are interested in mascara and the Middle East. Men are allowed to talk about sports relentlessly, and yet we still take them seriously. I don’t understand why women can’t talk about fashion, or sex, or love, or wanting more money and not be taken as seriously as men.”

Joanna also reads a headline which includes the words “How to make him better in bed.” HIM BETTER IN BED, NOT YOU. I’M DYING.

Or how about how my new personal idol hired the COO of facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, to be the editor of the careers section and explain the wage gap or how to ask for a raise.

For years I’ve been avoiding the magazine like the plague. I guess that won’t be necessary anymore.

You Look Like Nature

22 Oct

I love this so freaking much.

And this set.

I love any artistic reminder that my body is a part of nature, just as perfect as a planet or a star or the milky way.

I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…

Veins everywhere?

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gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

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hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

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beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

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heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

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lovely~

Small? Thin?

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charming~

Missing a few pieces?

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handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

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you’re fantastic looking~

Do you think that what makes you unique is a flaw? What nonsense. If you weren’t so specific then you’d be just like everyone else.

I’m gonna get really real on you guys here for a minute. I’m a Jewess with Jewess body hair. It’s something that I don’t do much about, I’d rather turn away guys who are turned off by that (and therefore me), than have to change myself for someone else in a way I don’t even enjoy.

However, as strongly as I feel about it, as much as I don’t intend to change it, I still battle with embarrassment about it every time I have a new partner. Even when a guy tells me he loves that quality about me I have a flash of insecurity about it. I doubt it’ll ever really go away (congratulations Gilette advertising team, you’ve internalized that shame in me forever).

One of my best friends runs the opposite way. She hates having any hair on her body. She actually just got a groupon for lazer hair removal (I should ask her how that’s going). She has the exact situation I prayed I had when I was in high school and starting to get naked with people. Every time we talk about it I get a pang of jealousy. Life must be so easy for her with no shame or fear about getting nakey with someone new.

“I’m really insecure about my labia. Guys have teased me because they’re too big.”

My jaw dropped.

And then I realized that having insecurities about your body isn’t special at all. Everyone has something that makes them feel as embarrassed as your chicken legs make you feel. So you don’t need to get over your insecurity. Try of course, but no need to beat yourself up for failing. Instead, next time you get that feeling think of the things your friends hate about their bodies but which you think are beautiful. And remember that this person thinks your legs are as beautiful as you think Rachel’s hair is.

I just remembered this story; I was seeing this guy who I thought was so cute. Gawky and awkward and smart and smiley. The first time i saw him with his shirt off I found a big scar on his chest. I asked him about it and apparently he needed heart surgery when he was a baby. He told me this story and for some reason imagining him as some helpless beautiful baby made me just want to take him in my arms and cover him in kisses all the more. “That’s so attractive” I said to him with a big smile on my face and a fresh kiss on our lips. The sigh of relief that came out of him surprised me. Who wouldn’t find such a thing sexy?

I’ve also been known to find intense vitiligo and half chopped off digits attractive. What can I say, I like flawed characters.

Lastly, I want to remind everyone that labia come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There’s no need to make someone feel bad about their completely normal, healthy body. If you are having a hard time loving your large lips check out this tumblr, lovelargelabia.tumblr.com, it’s sure to make you feel better.

Never change, Beautiful.

Makeup Tutorials For All Your Needs

29 Sep

I love this trend of political statement ‘makeup tutorials.’

Megan MacKay has a few really good ones like this one about cultural appropriator extraordinaire Urban Outfitters.

This one about the slut shaming Hobby Lobby decision.

I want to be her friend.

Michelle Fan has also been doing great ones for a while, like this one about religious insanitist Michele Bachmann.

And this one about abuse ignoring Joe Paterno.

And of course, one of my favorites, Anna Akana’s ‘daily’ routine.

Favorite Feminism Of The Day: Everyone Is Gay

17 Sep

Everyone Is Gay is an organization that makes videos, answers questions, and visits schools (elementary and up) talking about sexuality, parents, identity and whatever else you want to ask about.

They spew such simple statements as

“Your parents may feel uncomfortable until they feel comfortable.”

and

“Don’t be a jerk”

Like I always say Keep It Simple, Stupid.

This is probably one of my favorite episodes so far. I love that they make discoveries while shooting. I love that they approach things differently and have differing levels of comfort with statements and activities, and still find their way back to agreeing with each other through problem solving. And they solve all problems with words. Never do they say, if you don’t like what your partner is doing blink at them in morse code until they figure it out, ahem, Cosmo.

So here is the playlist that I listened to for an hour and a half yesterday as I cleaned the house.

And did I mention they lip sync too? What more could you want?

Playing Guitar Without My Vagina

28 Jul

Musical lady badassery.

 

Because I Like It

7 Jul

Just a friendly reminder that if you’re a woman and your reason is “I like it and I do what I like” then you’re secretly a feminist and have the full backing of this feminist.

Mommy Works Too

30 Jun

This morning I got a frantic call from a friend of mine who has two precocious and wonderful daughters aged 3 and 5. Her husband works a normal 9-5 job and she’s a freelancer. And when asked what mommy does the girls reply “Yoga.”

So she asked me for advice. “How do I show my girls that I work? I’m really upset and offended by the fact that they don’t get that.”

So here are my tips for her specific case.

  1. As freelancers we often say things like “I’m at the armory 6-11 today and the school 9-4 tomorrow.” In front of the kids let it be “I’m at work 6-11 today and again 9-4 tomorrow.” Let them ask you why you don’t work regular hours. When Dad works he just calls it work. You can too, no qualifiers needed. “Where is Mommy?” “She’s at work.”
  2. Define what it is to work. Going to an office is clearly work but dancing is something they do for fun, make it clear that when you do it it’s difficult and took training and makes money, which qualifies it as work. Tell them you’re exhausted from it and that you’re glad to come home and see them after working so hard.
  3. Every day your kids interact with people who they don’t know are getting paid to stay with them, most of them women. Working with kids is hard work, maybe your kids should see you paying the babysitter and asking her how work was today. Let the kids know what kind of training makes your babysitter or teacher qualified and what that means as far as payscale.
  4. Introduce them to other women who work. I’m a big believer that as soon as kids can form complete sentences they can be spending time with your friends. Ask your female friend how work is going and to explain what they do, what kind of hours they work, are the freelancers too, what kind of lifestyle does working that job afford them? Does it mean they tour or travel a lot?
  5. Why do you like your job and why do you dislike it? Tell them why it’s stressful but also important to go.
  6. Ask them what kind of career they’d like when they grow up. And be very clear that princess is not an option and why.

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