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The Perfect Endings For Imperfect Days

24 Oct

I’ve been so exhausted this week; it’s been really rough. It’s been hard to stay awake, but worse it’s been really hard to keep a positive disposition. I’ve felt myself sliding into negativity and I don’t like it.

So here are a few things that have been helping this week.

Hot Toddies

I guess “Hot Toddy” is a generous term for what I’ve been making. Tea + The Whiskey I Found In The Cupboard is a more title accurate.

Naps

Enough said.

The Weepies

For some reason I’m incapable of being sad while listening to this song. It is just the answer to everything.

Soap

Showering the day off is always the way to go. Don’t forget to treat yourself to a nice massage afterwards, gotta get that lotion all over.

Align

I have Acid Reflux and it can get pretty bad if I’m not careful. I can’t recommend probiotics enough. If you are prone to stomach issues you should be taking a daily probiotic. If you’re taking antibiotics you should be taking probiotics. If you’re me you should be taking probiotics.

Also, even though I take it every morning, I take my pill when I do my makeup which helps me feel like it’s a treat for myself instead of a medication. Every morning I treat myself to the chance to eat pain free! Thanks, self!

 

You Look Like Nature

22 Oct

I love this so freaking much.

And this set.

I love any artistic reminder that my body is a part of nature, just as perfect as a planet or a star or the milky way.

I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…

Veins everywhere?

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gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

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hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

image

beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

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heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

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lovely~

Small? Thin?

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charming~

Missing a few pieces?

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handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

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you’re fantastic looking~

Do you think that what makes you unique is a flaw? What nonsense. If you weren’t so specific then you’d be just like everyone else.

I’m gonna get really real on you guys here for a minute. I’m a Jewess with Jewess body hair. It’s something that I don’t do much about, I’d rather turn away guys who are turned off by that (and therefore me), than have to change myself for someone else in a way I don’t even enjoy.

However, as strongly as I feel about it, as much as I don’t intend to change it, I still battle with embarrassment about it every time I have a new partner. Even when a guy tells me he loves that quality about me I have a flash of insecurity about it. I doubt it’ll ever really go away (congratulations Gilette advertising team, you’ve internalized that shame in me forever).

One of my best friends runs the opposite way. She hates having any hair on her body. She actually just got a groupon for lazer hair removal (I should ask her how that’s going). She has the exact situation I prayed I had when I was in high school and starting to get naked with people. Every time we talk about it I get a pang of jealousy. Life must be so easy for her with no shame or fear about getting nakey with someone new.

“I’m really insecure about my labia. Guys have teased me because they’re too big.”

My jaw dropped.

And then I realized that having insecurities about your body isn’t special at all. Everyone has something that makes them feel as embarrassed as your chicken legs make you feel. So you don’t need to get over your insecurity. Try of course, but no need to beat yourself up for failing. Instead, next time you get that feeling think of the things your friends hate about their bodies but which you think are beautiful. And remember that this person thinks your legs are as beautiful as you think Rachel’s hair is.

I just remembered this story; I was seeing this guy who I thought was so cute. Gawky and awkward and smart and smiley. The first time i saw him with his shirt off I found a big scar on his chest. I asked him about it and apparently he needed heart surgery when he was a baby. He told me this story and for some reason imagining him as some helpless beautiful baby made me just want to take him in my arms and cover him in kisses all the more. “That’s so attractive” I said to him with a big smile on my face and a fresh kiss on our lips. The sigh of relief that came out of him surprised me. Who wouldn’t find such a thing sexy?

I’ve also been known to find intense vitiligo and half chopped off digits attractive. What can I say, I like flawed characters.

Lastly, I want to remind everyone that labia come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There’s no need to make someone feel bad about their completely normal, healthy body. If you are having a hard time loving your large lips check out this tumblr, lovelargelabia.tumblr.com, it’s sure to make you feel better.

Never change, Beautiful.

Can We Start A Kickstarter Or Something?

3 Oct

These pieces were made by 18-year-old British artist Eleanor Beth Haswell and are unfortunately not available for sale. Which sucks because I would buy them so fast!

People make a lot of noise suggesting that the underwear you choose is for the person who theoretically gets to take it off of you but actually you are the most important client it has.

The collection is called “Why Are You So Afraid of Your Own Anatomy” and if twitter is anything to go by, the garments are only a catalyst for a conversation called “We Are Indeed Completely Afraid Of Our Own Anatomy.” Not that that surprises anyone.

However, as someone who has had to explain female reproductive anatomy to sexually active adult women (jeez), I think these are great. I want a pair for me and a dozen for christmas to give as gifts. Can we get on that?

Love your body. Feed it food.

1 Oct

This trailer popped up on my news feed this week and I’ve been trying to write about it without puking for the last few days.

Writing here, and trying to lead a sex and body positive life people try to pick fights with me about bodies and fat all the time.

They trot out the same boring old theories that fat people are just lazy and it’s their own fault.

Just about anything is healthy in moderation but companies put ingredients in food that we aren’t choosing consciously and that is what gets a lot of people into trouble.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Michael Pollan [x]

Booty Eating Renaissance?

19 Sep

A friend of mine sent me this article the other day, presumably because he thought it would be good blog fodder.

I’ve never been the queen of butt stuff. Partly because as a Jewess I’m classically top-heavy, Jews are apparently great at growing in the mammary gland department but a bit stunted in the trunk, as it were. So I’ve rarely attracted the kind of guys who bring up back doors. Plus, I get the feeling it’s something you don’t bring up until you’ve spent some time getting to know each other first, and alas I’ve been a pretty hit-it-and-quit-it lass. Damn, I’m punny today.

All of this is to say that I can’t contribute much personal experience to the topic of anilingus.

Nonetheless, the article argues that rap music, which so often focuses on hyper masculinization, is having an All About That Anilingus moment which could have positive consequences for the gay community. Or maybe the boost in gay rights awareness in the last few years has had this effect on the rap community.

Clearly I’m just spewing (ahem, sorry) now because I know nothing about this. But I’m hopeful. Because a whole bunch of my friends keep telling me about how much they love anal play and I’m in support of as many people as possible having as much pleasure as possible.

So thanks Drake and Gates, for opening up a new world of pleasure for your audiences. Well done.

I’m not giving you an image for this one. You have Google for that.

Light Petting

15 Sep

The other night I got to engage in some light petting. As in the opposite of heavy petting. As in, he literally pet me like one pets a pet. No kisses, no touching any swim suit parts, no sexy times, just petting. Palms and finger tips on backs and shoulders, arms, hips.

And damn was it good.

This summer I’ve had (some good, but also) some of the worst sex of my life. Dissociative sex, sex that made me feel like I didn’t even need to be in the room, checked into my body for it to be happening. You know, in the bad way.

But this was the opposite. For the most part at least. There were a few moments when I thought, “Is he going to want to progress from this and then we’ll have to figure out what that is,” but then he didn’t, or we didn’t.

I had fleeting fears of ‘what if he feels cheated, like I owe him something,’ but then he didn’t.

And when I said I couldn’t stay too long because I had a lunch to attend, he jokingly said I should cancel it and stay and get petted a little longer. Which was the moment I realized that he was enjoying this delicious sensual (not sexual) moment just as much as I was. And that he was enjoying being the petter as much as I was selfishly enjoying being the pettee.

On my way to the lunch which I did eventually make, I realized that this petting could have served as foreplay but that it would have cheapened the deliciousness of having a purely sensual moment. And at the same moment I realized just as sadly that it not being foreplay for something else was a waste and left me a tad… dehydrated. And I couldn’t decide which thought left me more sad. I guess there are pros and cons for everything.

Shake It Off In Multitudes

5 Sep

The other day I got to spend time with someone I’ve missed. Our friendship took a brief detour into romance-land and then had to take a break to get out of it but now we’ve gotten back home into comfortable I-want-to-talk-about-everything-and-nothing-with-you-and-get-drunk friendship land. Thank goodness. I’ve missed him.

So we got drinks and talked about everything and nothing. And he mentioned that he’d been reading the blog. He said he likes it when I disagree with something I’ve written previously. It feels like he’s watching me grow.

I’m glad that’s what it feels like for him because for me it can get really confusing. It’s like holding two conflicting arguments in your head at the same time and agreeing with both of them.

Like for example Taylor Swift’s latest catchy tune.

I’ve read the argument that Swift’s use of and shock at twerking black butts is offensive.

And also the equally compelling argument that her inclusion of twerking as a dance as easy to suck at as ballet actually makes it inclusive.

I’d rather the twerking dancers be clearly having as much fun as the other dance troupes. I’ve seen videos of women doing it freestyle and its really something to behold.

We contain multitudes, all of us.

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