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Can We Start A Kickstarter Or Something?

3 Oct

These pieces were made by 18-year-old British artist Eleanor Beth Haswell and are unfortunately not available for sale. Which sucks because I would buy them so fast!

People make a lot of noise suggesting that the underwear you choose is for the person who theoretically gets to take it off of you but actually you are the most important client it has.

The collection is called “Why Are You So Afraid of Your Own Anatomy” and if twitter is anything to go by, the garments are only a catalyst for a conversation called “We Are Indeed Completely Afraid Of Our Own Anatomy.” Not that that surprises anyone.

However, as someone who has had to explain female reproductive anatomy to sexually active adult women (jeez), I think these are great. I want a pair for me and a dozen for christmas to give as gifts. Can we get on that?

Love your body. Feed it food.

1 Oct

This trailer popped up on my news feed this week and I’ve been trying to write about it without puking for the last few days.

Writing here, and trying to lead a sex and body positive life people try to pick fights with me about bodies and fat all the time.

They trot out the same boring old theories that fat people are just lazy and it’s their own fault.

Just about anything is healthy in moderation but companies put ingredients in food that we aren’t choosing consciously and that is what gets a lot of people into trouble.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Michael Pollan [x]

Booty Eating Renaissance?

19 Sep

A friend of mine sent me this article the other day, presumably because he thought it would be good blog fodder.

I’ve never been the queen of butt stuff. Partly because as a Jewess I’m classically top-heavy, Jews are apparently great at growing in the mammary gland department but a bit stunted in the trunk, as it were. So I’ve rarely attracted the kind of guys who bring up back doors. Plus, I get the feeling it’s something you don’t bring up until you’ve spent some time getting to know each other first, and alas I’ve been a pretty hit-it-and-quit-it lass. Damn, I’m punny today.

All of this is to say that I can’t contribute much personal experience to the topic of anilingus.

Nonetheless, the article argues that rap music, which so often focuses on hyper masculinization, is having an All About That Anilingus moment which could have positive consequences for the gay community. Or maybe the boost in gay rights awareness in the last few years has had this effect on the rap community.

Clearly I’m just spewing (ahem, sorry) now because I know nothing about this. But I’m hopeful. Because a whole bunch of my friends keep telling me about how much they love anal play and I’m in support of as many people as possible having as much pleasure as possible.

So thanks Drake and Gates, for opening up a new world of pleasure for your audiences. Well done.

I’m not giving you an image for this one. You have Google for that.

Light Petting

15 Sep

The other night I got to engage in some light petting. As in the opposite of heavy petting. As in, he literally pet me like one pets a pet. No kisses, no touching any swim suit parts, no sexy times, just petting. Palms and finger tips on backs and shoulders, arms, hips.

And damn was it good.

This summer I’ve had (some good, but also) some of the worst sex of my life. Dissociative sex, sex that made me feel like I didn’t even need to be in the room, checked into my body for it to be happening. You know, in the bad way.

But this was the opposite. For the most part at least. There were a few moments when I thought, “Is he going to want to progress from this and then we’ll have to figure out what that is,” but then he didn’t, or we didn’t.

I had fleeting fears of ‘what if he feels cheated, like I owe him something,’ but then he didn’t.

And when I said I couldn’t stay too long because I had a lunch to attend, he jokingly said I should cancel it and stay and get petted a little longer. Which was the moment I realized that he was enjoying this delicious sensual (not sexual) moment just as much as I was. And that he was enjoying being the petter as much as I was selfishly enjoying being the pettee.

On my way to the lunch which I did eventually make, I realized that this petting could have served as foreplay but that it would have cheapened the deliciousness of having a purely sensual moment. And at the same moment I realized just as sadly that it not being foreplay for something else was a waste and left me a tad… dehydrated. And I couldn’t decide which thought left me more sad. I guess there are pros and cons for everything.

Shake It Off In Multitudes

5 Sep

The other day I got to spend time with someone I’ve missed. Our friendship took a brief detour into romance-land and then had to take a break to get out of it but now we’ve gotten back home into comfortable I-want-to-talk-about-everything-and-nothing-with-you-and-get-drunk friendship land. Thank goodness. I’ve missed him.

So we got drinks and talked about everything and nothing. And he mentioned that he’d been reading the blog. He said he likes it when I disagree with something I’ve written previously. It feels like he’s watching me grow.

I’m glad that’s what it feels like for him because for me it can get really confusing. It’s like holding two conflicting arguments in your head at the same time and agreeing with both of them.

Like for example Taylor Swift’s latest catchy tune.

I’ve read the argument that Swift’s use of and shock at twerking black butts is offensive.

And also the equally compelling argument that her inclusion of twerking as a dance as easy to suck at as ballet actually makes it inclusive.

I’d rather the twerking dancers be clearly having as much fun as the other dance troupes. I’ve seen videos of women doing it freestyle and its really something to behold.

We contain multitudes, all of us.

Mondays Are Pretty Harmless

25 Aug

Put this on while you’re getting dressed today.

Dance around.

It’ll be impossible not to smile.

Just ASK

11 Aug

One of my closest friends keeps saying things about her reproductive system that aren’t true. The other day we were complaining about periods and she said “It’s a dead egg.”


While she tossed and turned like a 7-year-old refusing to listen to her mom I continued to explain to her that the fallopian tube which the egg travels down is only the size of three hairs, so the egg is tiny. And that it passes out of your body about 10 days before your period with your regular discharge and you don’t even notice it. Your period is the shedding of the uterine lining which the egg (if fertilized) could have implanted itself into and then became a zygote.

She pretended not to listen because it’s gross, but I know she did because it’s freaking interesting.

She thinks it’s not important to understand how her body works.

I suppose she thinks it’s embarrassing to have these conversations.

I think nothing could be more embarrassing than not knowing though.

“I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

“I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused. Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

“Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

“Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

If any of these stories don’t make you chuckle then get thee to a sex ed professional now. And then go chastise your parents for voting for someone who supported abstinence only education in the district where you grew up.


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